want to do standup about how pathetic you are with girls

Talk about what it’s gonna be like in the future too

and why?


How it’s already the fucking future

How different it is

and how its changing quicker than ever?


I threw a football a few times the other day

which is quite a lost feeling, so as you can imagine i’ve been thinking

a lot about how we never use our hands anymore


Just typing and pressing buttons is pretty much it

And then I watched a porno and I was like

Wow, I never use my body other than to walk and lay down and 

press buttons


Phone buttons

Remote buttons

Subway card machine buttons

People’s buttons

Button Up Shirt buttons

Laundry Buttons

Hand the Subway guy debit card, which is a second hand swipe, but then

Debit card PIN number buttons

Soda Machine (at select restaurants with soda buffet style like Subway) buttons

Elevator buttons lift us to where we want to go

Exit door safety buttons

Gym equipment buttons like the big red STOP one


In phone subcategory of buttons

the whole screen is a goddamn button.

We need that many buttons that we had to make all of it a button


Buttons mixed with screens

Like your croutons with your greens

The best part of every-ween


Buttons maybe not inherently bad

Like a futon don't make you glad

Just different, maybe a tad sad

Other than that

In terms of Non-Button body maneuvers

1 

Probably please myself


And truthfully

In terms of honesty being the best policy

2

Pay another emotion-feeling human being $180 to please me


Which she does at the end of a massage

But by massage

I kinda just mean she would rub my shoulders with this like


Skin-moistening

Creamy

Oil rub and she would touch my nutcracker, clenched-fist, private school 

Assembly line hands

Gently

With the side of her beautiful, bone-skinny hips


Then she’d #1 me

Which makes it #2-ing me then I guess

Sucks that two favorite things cost so much

Trying to the live in the city these days!

Geesh!

Ya just can’t!
Advertisements