I’ve got a friend who’s name is Dan.
Of him, I am quite a fan!

Real tinily a big time cutie,
He folds back his balls to make a patootie.

He’s the type of kid you know in junior high
Laying down in front for the pictures slick ’n sly?

Pick me up pick me up! he says giggling, cooly.
Sure thing, nerdy strongman says, happy you’re not my bully!

Be a bully? How could I?
Oh dear, oh me, oh my!

One day I’ll have a bully of my own
Who tells me the past is when I shone.

Dan asks me what is he to do? Speaks of crossroads.
Mikey, mikey, a far away home I go to abode.

Moving home, yo, would be stinky
Skype, sure, but I truly love to see your in-person winkie.