once upon a time…
there was this homeless lady
who wore real rag-ish clothes!
real loose, long, khaki-type pants
lots of pockets
and she walks like the middle part
of a monkey to human evolution graphic
all slouched and with all-frizzed-up hair
and she would get so angry!
after saying please please please
excuse me, sir can you please spare a couple dollars?
i’m so hungry, she’d say
i’m so hungry!
come on, you got any more than that?
and i’d say fuck you
just gave you a whole dollar, you dirty fucking bitch!
but this one time…!
she took out some rag-paper
and a rag-pencil
she had this way of folding the front of her feet inward
bite her lip at one end, you know?
give a slight curtsy to me, you know?
and she’d spread her arms
palms open
aware of her permanent subservience to me, you know?
i like the way you’re doing that, i said
that makes me feel good
i’m glad for that, she said
and she handed me the raggedy paper
and licked the raggedy pencil with her raggedy wet lips
eraser end first
there was a slight smell
and then she put it into my mouth
real cutely
i kinda jutted my neck back at first
but it was already in my mouth
she told me, you are my crush!
i see you on the rooftops!
with a captain’s hat and that blue towel you tie around your neck
who are you? she said
some sort of super hero?
i’m no hero, i said
but it’s my dream to be one
like batman but more publicly visible
way more publicly visible
ever since i was a little baby
how old are you? she said
hold on, i said, i’m not done
talking about my super hero dream
where was i?
and i can fly and move things with my mind!
or kinda with the wave of my hand
like a dragon ball z type of hand-power
but i use only one hand
just like a wave or a steady drag
the power lies within my mind but hand dragging adds effect
i hope! should i drop the hand thing?
maybe it’s cause i want people to know it’s me
when they see things fly that aren’t normally flying things
they’ll look around and see my hand going all dragon ball z on their asses
but i have the same amount of power as dragon ball z guys, too
she says, you know of that bank?
on main street and chicken wire avenue?
DA STREETS! i joke
i’m just joshing you, i say
do i knew them?? yes, of course i do
i nod to say that’s my favorite bank branch, ya dummy
she says to meet her there and she’ll blow me
just for 10 dollars! holy cow!
the rag-paper is just dots
you remember when you handed me this rag-paper?
this is just dots, i say
fill it in, silly
it’s funner that way, she says
it’s *more fun* you mean, i say
you’ll learn, i say
and i take the pencil out of my mouth
and try to be all cute like how she did it
it’s quickly too distracting tho because
instead of doing the dot-game
i’m trying to see her reaction
to my curtsy-esque pencil movements
the dots connected spell out
U R MY CRUSH, MY STRONG BOY
i want to be held
always
from that coldplay sad song place
behind all our eyes
where we think about winter family
vacations
and school-hood crushes and smooches
when you felt loved and hugged
and it was the period of christmases
that ruined all the recent christmases
with their good warm feelings
from that place when that one beauty you went after
for months and months
you’d drive home and make her laugh
and would sit in the too-hot car
for hours
and you finally got the smooch
and the boobie smooch
and the hand hold and the breakup
and it was all brilliant
the british brilliant
and there’s that memory of texting her
constantly and that was the last time you
felt that certain way
that was close to love
this lady whom i now have given my self to…
who I met once a time ago
waiting for me to meet her eyes
and begin the beginning
of the stare-for-a-sec-and-then-embrace routine
i went arms over shoulder
my chin on her flaking scalp-head
follow me, she said
and scurried over to the wall beside us
it was a backwards scurry, i remember
holding my hand
i let her pull me into her
and it was like a movie when we kissed
and thrusted
all night long, by the wall
so forgetful of the near-the-bank blowjob proposal
but boy did i remember later!
i go there every other night now
behind the bank on chicken wire and main
and she has yet to fail me
i’ve spent close to twenty-three hundred dollars
and have little left for christmas gifts
i’ve always wanted to get gifts for my siblings
but i probably shouldn’t even go home
cause of the whole bed bug thing now
i’ll find an excuse
i’m so happy tho!

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